- Publish Date
- Friday, 19 January 2018, 2:19PM
First dates come down to two key factors: you want to get a good balance between making a good impression of yourself, but you're also going to want to suss out whether your date is the right guy or gal for you!
According to the psychologist Robert Maurer, there's a very simple way to find out what your date is really like.
It's a risky question to ask but might pay off in the long run, Maurer thinks you should ask your date the question,
"How did your last relationship end?" and maybe if you're not that brave ask them, “So, how come someone as wonderful as you is still single?” to get them to open up.
Hopefully, they'll take that as a compliment and they'll feel encouraged to come clean about their past which can be pretty important in revealing what they're truly like.
Dr Maurer then suggests you listen carefully: “As they relate the stories of their last relationship(s), are they taking any responsibility for choosing poorly or not having the right skills at that point in their lives?”
He explained that if they tell the story as the victim in all their previous relationships, then you should be trying to get out of there ASAP.
Pretty much it means that if you were to encounter problems (like all couples do) then they'll simply wait for you to take the blame instead of working on solutions to solve the issue.
So if ya tinder date blames their exes for every failed relationship they've been in- take that as a warning!!
“It is hard to make an effort to repair if every problem is the other person’s fault,” Dr Maurer explains.
“So look for someone who is willing to look inside for the source of the problem and for solutions, nothing is more vital for a relationship to thrive.”