"The Worst Things I've Heard as a Nurse in Labor and Delivery"

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  • 1/9
    1/9

    Put in an extra stitch. From a father talking to the provider AND from a provider talking to a father. Yeah, 'cause that didn't make me just throw up in my mouth. Officially, the only time I've rolled my eyes in front of a patient. One time I couldn't even help it...I asked the father "how small does the doctor need to make it?" :/

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 2/9
    2/9

    My boyfriend checked me and said I was dilating. From a woman who let her partner do too much exploring. He knew how dilated she was from his experience working in a coffee shop. FYI -- don't try this at home :/

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 3/9
    3/9

    There's plenty of room in here. From a provider talking to a woman while doing a vaginal exam. Ummm, because I really want a room full of people to hear that my vagina is big enough to have a ten pound baby. For the love of God, have some decency and say "it'll be a tight fit, but our bodies are capable of great things!"

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 4/9
    4/9

    Right now you have a vaginus. From a provider, telling the woman how bad her laceration was. Because that's not confusing or frightening at all...

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 5/9
    5/9

    You smell like your momma's stinky kooch -- A grandmother, talking to the freshly delivered newborn.

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 6/9
    6/9

    Grandpa, you can take pictures -- A nursery nurse to the man standing next to the warmer. Unfortunately, it was her husband, not her dad :/ lol

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 7/9
    7/9

    I'm the only one that gets to suck on those. From a father who wouldn't let his wife breastfeed. This was the first time I've ever wanted to hit someone in the head :(

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 8/9
    8/9

    If you put a catheter in me, will the baby be able to come out? From many patients. Am I the only woman out there that has explored her own body?!? ...or paid attention during anatomy class? You have three holes down there!

     

    Photo: Getty

  • 9/9
    9/9

    Oh, he has a little penis just like his dad did. From a mother-in-law looking at her newborn grandson right after delivery. This was only the "worst" for the dad. This was the "best" for everyone else in the room :) Everyone else could.not.stop.laughing. The dad turned every shade of red.

     

    Photo: Getty

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