What This Man Said to A Woman After A Tinder Date Is Horrible

Michelle Thomas was left in a flood of tears after a man she'd met on Tinder (and been on a date with) told her she was too fat to fancy.

But instead of letting this mortifying experience destroy her self esteem, Michelle has used it to teach others about the right way to treat women.

She went out for drinks with Simon whom she'd talked to on Tinder. She didn't find him particularly attractive and wasn't bothered about whether she'd see him again.

But what he did afterwards made her sure she never wanted to see him again and left her in floods of tears while she was on a date the following night.

In a 397 word message the man, who Ms Thomas will only say is in his 40s and works in the NHS, told her he adored her but it would never work because he would not be able to get an erection with her.

He wrote:

"Hey Michelle, sorry been super busy at work today hun.

Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't.

I'm not going to bull***t you... I f***ing adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer.

Shallow? It's not meant to be. It's the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.

So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard.

There are certain triggers that fire my imagination into life and your wit and intelligence are the beginning of that process which would inevitably end up in the bedroom. With just one result....

I'm so disappointed in myself Michelle because I've genuinely not felt this way about anyone in ages, but I'm trying to be honest with you without sounding like a total knobhead.

We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and.... f*** me... I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don't have to go through that embarrassment. I'm a man... With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I'm sure of my own body and its needs.

Please try and forgive me. I adore you xx"

Ms Thomas said: "I was inconsolable when I got the message the next day.

"I was on another date when I received that message. (I got my phone out to check messages when my date was in the loo.)

"I was just shocked and burst into tears.

"My date was lovely about it and I showed him the message but being in tears isn't a great look for a first date is it?

"I think the only reason for sending the message is to hurt and to wound somebody.

"It's every woman's worst nightmare. It's this deep rooted thought that you have as a teenager and never really goes away that no matter how fun or clever you are, if you are a little bit overweight then nothing else matters to men.

"The message confirmed this dormant fear that I think woman have.

"A male friend said 'no man would say that unless to wound and to cut somebody down'."

Soon her upset turned to anger and she decided to post it on her blog to show people how NOT to treat women. 

The subject of the blog has asked her to take it down but Ms Thomas, from Crystal Palace, South East London, says it is here to stay.

She added she had been motivated to write over fears about the effect the man's attitude to women might have on his 13-year-old daughter.

Among other things, she wrote back to him: 

“What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter.

“I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body.

“It belongs to her and only her.

“Praise her intellect, and her creativity.

“Push her to push herself and to be fearless.

“Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if (I'll be kind. I'll say ‘if’.) the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now.”

Source