Things Only People Who Are Always On-Time Will Understand

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1/10 On time doesn’t mean ON TIME. It definitely means getting there 10 minutes early.
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2/10 We always allot time for potential catastrophes. This includes traffic, wrong directions, stopping for petrol, train delays, airport security lines, etc. Which means we always leave an extra half hour cushion around our departure. ALWAYS.
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3/10 Running even 5 minutes late gives us heart palpitations. And heart palpitations lead to anxiety and we will probably die early because of it.
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4/10 If you’re late, we’ll be nice about it to your face if we don’t know you, but inside we’re seething. Because you know what? Being more than 10 minutes late is rude. Being more than 10 minutes late and not giving a heads-up or subsequent apology is really f*cking rude. Our time is just as valuable as yours.
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5/10 We obsessively check our alarm clocks before we go to bed just to make sure it’s set.
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6/10 Speaking of alarm clocks, we’re not above setting alarms in 15-minute increments, which leads to our iPhones looking like this.
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7/10 We always have a book or fully-charged iPhone on us because we’re used to waiting for rude, er, late people.
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8/10 We have no interest in being “fashionably” late, whatever that even means.
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9/10 If we had a dime for every time we said, “Let’s go,” or “Hurry up,” to our significant others, we’d have as much money as Jay F*cking Gatsby.
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10/10 WALK WITH PURPOSE. Time is money and we have no interest being stuck behind someone who dawdles.
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