- Publish Date
- Thursday, 27 September 2018, 3:17PM
Work Day chick Bel has been reflecting on the fear we all have of turning another year older- she took to her blog to talk about it, and how awesome it really is!
I’m 29 and have been pretty relaxed as I get closer to 30. I had a freak out when I was 27 and briefly living in Melbourne and cried the whole day.
I cried for two weeks afterwards and couldn’t stop thinking about my career and what I wanted to achieve so I moved home. After my ‘27 freak out’, I chilled out and released a lot of fear and self-doubt. Turning 28 and 29 was a breeze. I embraced it because life is more than good and we are lucky to be alive.
THE FIRST FREAK OUT
Sorting my summer plans and it looks like I’ll go back to work on January 14th, one day before my birthday, my 30th birthday, where I will no longer be in my 20s. I start feeling quite emotional This quickly progresses to tears (I’m a crier, especially when I need to release stuff). My rational mind is like ‘It’s only September Bel, chill out mate.’
I can feel it coming. Hello my old frenemy Panic last name Attack, it’s been quite a while.
Relentless, it’s on. If you’ve ever had or watched someone have a panic attack, you’ll know they are ugly. There’s something primal about them. I’m full on crying, holding on to my surroundings. It’s an old habit, I used to feel like I was going to get swallowed into the ground when I had a panic attack and had an irrational fear I was going to die it was so intense.
I could quite easily keep this to myself. I’m cautious to share, especially about my panic attack as I get worried people will use it against me, or think I’m not capable. The thing is people would never know if I didn’t share it. I have never let it affect my study or work.
I sit on the floor trying to turn my shallow breathing deeper. “Deep breathes Belly, breathe. You have got this, you are strong, you are ok, you are doing just fine, it’s going to be ok, you are safe.”
More breathing, I find some Lorazepam (a prescription medication used to treat anxiety) some rescue remedy and a calming essential oil I give a good sniff. Herbal tea and cold water and a rose quartz crystal I found in my pocket. I did it, it’s over. I get on with my day
TAMING YOUR MIND
I cannot stress enough that years of self-work and certain experiences have helped make me very mentally strong.
I am able to create space in these moments unlike when I was younger and overcome them pretty quickly.
Most of if not all of what we’re battling with is in our mind. Learn to train your mind. Be careful what you allow into it, this includes the way you speak to yourself. Meditate, practise mindfulness and positive self-talk daily and be grateful. Focus on all of the good in your life. There is always something to be grateful for.
LA Radio Host Yesi Ortiz put it perfectly on a ‘Girlboss’ podcast I listened to saying “It should be your sacred time to be fearless. Whatever’s going on you take that energy and you pour it back in as love into yourself and you give it all you’ve got.”
EVERYONE’S TIMELINE IS DIFFERENT
Repeat after me: everyone’s timeline is different. And that’s totally ok. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you.
We fall into this human trap of comparing ourselves to others and where they’re at.
Some people will settle down and get married earlier and have a family, others like myself chose to focus on our careers.
I settled down early, bought a house at 24 and could’ve followed the ‘natural’ progression and stayed in that life for the rest of my life, but I chose not to because it wasn’t right anymore and I can’t not live my truth. How lucky are we to have the freedom of choice?
THE SILVER LINING
We would not be the people we are without everything that’s happened in our 20s (and before then too).
It’s shaped us into the beautiful and strong people we are now. We know a lot more about ourselves and what we’re willing and not willing to accept in our lives and where we want to be.
Use it not to define you but carry you forward. Work through those hurdles until it no longer holds you back.
Instead of thinking about the things we don’t have, we need to focus on what we do and be proud of ourselves for what we have achieved. I’m a big fan of flipping things to the positive.
You only need to have a scroll back through your Facebook photos (omg cringe) to find photos from your past which just by looking at you can see your growth. I’ve dug out an old breakfast radio show photo from 2009 and on the right is the strong 29-year-old woman I’ve worked really hard to become.
Here’s to us and living our best lives in our own time!