If you own at least five of these accessories then you're probably a basic b*tch

Publish Date
Monday, 21 May 2018, 11:51AM


This is the second post of my 'Basic Bitch Starter Pack' series. Following on from the first 'Things Every Basic B Needs In Their Bedroom'. As a proud basic b, I am well equipped (literally) to let you know all of the accessories a basic must own. 


Coconut milk latte in one hand, and your most prized possession in the other. Every basic needs a decent handbag to carry basically her life around with her.

The pick of the bunch is Deadly Ponies. Name me a basic that doesn't own one.... I'll wait. I mean you'll probably need to sell your left lung on the black market or eat noodles for two months to afford one, but from one Deadly Ponies owner to a future owner it truly is worth the investment.

I've had my Deadly Ponies 'Mr Leopard' for over three years. I bought it as a treat for myself after a break-up. BEST TREAT EVER. Most good quality leather hand bags are 'spenny as anyway, so you may as well splash out a teeny bit more and get yourself the luxe option.

Team your handbag with a matching super cute wallet or clutch.

I've also got a Status Anxiety wallet like the ones pictured above, picked up for a fraction of the price but still great quality leather and basic b approved.


Can you even call yourself a basic bitch if you don't own a pair of Karen Walker sunglasses? They hide a multitude of sins or tired eyes because you stayed up way too late binge-watching the second season of '13 Reasons Why' on Netflix last night didn't you? Those bags under your eyes are bigger than your Deadly Ponies. And trust me Crazy Tort actually matches everything, a solid choice.


I've got a better collection of rings on right now but it's basically impossible to take a photo of your own hands, so this one of my accidental looking man hands will have to do.

Rings, and lots of them. One for every finger and some spares just to be safe. Fine silver (or gold if you're more of a gold gal slash RICH) jewellery which you can find at Karen Walker, Meadowlark and hello my old and trusted friend, Stolen Girlfriends Club.

When I lived in Melbourne people would ask on the daily if my name was 'Stolen' because I wear a Stolen Girlfriends Club 'Stolen' necklace. Um NO. Who would call their kid Stolen?!


The holistic basic b has crystals hidden all over her body (and in pockets) because SEE YA to that toxic energy and negative vibes.

I've been putting crystals in my bra for over ten years and this year I finally decided to stop making myself look like I have a third nipple and bought a protection crystal pendant. Then I started wearing rose quartz in my bra again so it's by my heart chakra, go figure.

Crystals are super pretty and different types have different spiritual and healing properties and are super easy to wear in a ring, necklace or bracelet.


It may not be an accessory you wear, but every basic b needs wheels to get around in right? Places to be, people to see. The car of choice is without a doubt the trusty Suzuki Swift, preferably in black. Black on black for extra points. Cheap to fuel and easy to get around in while looking cute SKRT SKRT. Another favourite is the Volkswagen Golf.

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The holy grail of fragrances and every basic has a steady supply of the #1 BB approved perfume Viktor and Rolf Flowerbomb.

Sitting close by on the shelf is Marc Jacobs Daisy, and with so many different scents of Daisy now you're spoilt for choice when it comes smelling like a delicious princess.

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Every basic always needs a fresh pair of kicks. Currently, it's all about wearing a crisp low cut pair of white sneakers. Adidas Superstar, Stan Smith or a white leather pair of Converse are the favourites.

You may want to branch out and try a blush pink pair or if you're feeling extra basic, treat yourself to a pair of Van's low top platforms like I did the day they were released. Now everyone with a vaheen seems to own them.


Most basics check their iPhone for the time but if you're mindful of your screen time and like having an actual watch because #accessories, here's the watch of choice.

A few years ago I would've said it was a chunky GUESS number, I know I've got one tucked away. In 2018 most watch wearing basics are sporting a Daniel Wellington or similar style.

This was the second post in my 'Basic Bitch Starter Pack' series. Still to come: The things every basic b needs in her hair and make-up kit, wardrobe, activities, hobbies, food and more (cos let's be honest it's a way of life) will be coming to the blog soon.

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