Bel tells her cautionary story of a date that went terribly wrong

Publish Date
Monday, 14 May 2018, 12:34PM
Bel from At Work with Bel has started a killer blog (check it out here) but in her latest blog post, she revealed a particularly bad date she had.

We've reposted it for you here because it really is worth the read!

THE STORY OF DORA'S BIG DRUGGO BROTHER  

I recently caught up with a good galpal of mine I hadn't seen in ages. Over the course of our four-hour catch up of brunch, numerous decaf coconut milk lattes, long blacks and later beers we worked out we had dated the same guy at the same time and he did something pretty shitty to both of us. At least it's a good story and we had a good LOL. 

Confession, the story starts with me going on two dates in one night. It was a Saturday night and I had plans, but first I went on a dinner date with a nice guy my friend had set me up with. After dinner and approx 4 jugs of sangria, he found out his car had been towed. I offered to Uber him to the tow yard. It was so awkward and I felt really bad for him, like should I give him money to help pay for it? I mean it's not my fault he parked across someone's driveway in Ponsonby, aka the worst suburb to commit a parking crime in. 

We bid adieu and I met up with some friends and a guy I was messaging. He'd hit me up with the old "I've always wanted to date you". We had a really fun night and he basically begged if he could stay at mine. I later discovered it was because he lived with his ex, also the mother of his child. He wanted to take me out for dinner a week later, it was a really lovely evening until he took me to his work function. Let me just point out it was a Sunday night and he all of a sudden decided he wanted to find drugs. Anything he could get his hands on, he started his desperate search and ditched me. He looked right through me like I didn't exist. So yeah I got ditched on a date, on a Sunday night by a guy who probably found some crushed up panadol or rubbish pingas.

I was quite angry and got an Uber home, he messaged the next day all apologetic, it made me feel really crap about myself if I'm completely honest.
Fast forward a year or so later my friend and I worked out the following Thursday she went on a date with him, he turned up with a backpack and after an hour he told her to go home because he was going to get high in the bathroom. 

WARNING BELLS

I probably should've seen warning bells when he was having benders on weeknights (sorry hon but Tuesday nights aren't really a good night for me to go out). Or when I had a warning dream (I have these sometimes, some may say it's crazy but I have dreams with messages, warnings or about things that actually end up happening). While I was dating him I dreamt about a chaotic situation, police were involved, screaming, blood and violence. I knew when I woke up I couldn't see him anymore and that he was dangerous.

Let's just say there were a few red flags (perhaps a slight understatement). Moral of the story, if a guy wearing a backpack and has horrendous halitosis comes your way RUN FOR THE HILLS FORREST! Like seriously who are you? Dora's big druggo brother? In all seriousness from my personal experience (far greater than what I have outlined above) dating druggies is a bad idea. It's an absolute mind F. Would not recommend. 

A FEW THINGS I'VE LEARNT: 

  1. You need to treat dating like an extra thing in your already full and happy life. Don't get sidetracked and forget about all of the good things you are doing. Stay in your lane, the dating, the guys/ gals are extras.
  2. Your vibe is responsible for what you attract. When you're happy, strong, having fun and things are really good you are carefree and at peace. Good things will come your way and people will want to be around you because they're attracted to your sparkly bundle of gorgeousness.  How do you improve your mindset and vibe? Constant self-care, which I outline step by step in my post  'This one is for the girls (boys you can read it too)'
  3. Sometimes things just don't work out, it wasn't meant to be and you haven't met the right person yet. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong, you could literally do everything 'right' and it still may not work out. Trust that it will all work out in time for your highest good. I went into more detail on this in my post 'Love, dodging the f boys (my mum tells me off for swearing) and living your best life'
  4. YOU ARE THE PRIZE remember that. I know dating can be bit disheartening but fill yourself up with all the self-love as un-Kiwi as that is. You are a super cool babe with a lot to offer, You're beautiful, smart, kind and funny and someone (the right person) one day will be very lucky to have you in their life.

BAD DATING EXPERIENCES 

I asked my Instagram followers if they'd had any bad/weird/interesting dating experiences, here are some of the replies:

 

DON'T DO IT

Don't date people that do shitty things to you or make you feel bad about yourself. You are a QWEEN, an absolute gem with a heart of gold (and blood) and you don't deserve that crap. Lift your standards, respect yourself! KNOW YOUR WORTH GIRL. You are a 10/10 and so much more.

Have you had a bad dating experience yourself? Tell us here and you could win with FVM's Swipemares!