- Publish Date
- Friday, 2 October 2020, 3:35PM
There are so many things to do with women and their reproductive health that very rarely get talked about, from miscarriages right down to periods themselves.
It's actually nuts, it not only affects those who experience periods, and have those reproductive organs, it affects their partners too.
When we started our fertility journey we were actually quite stunned at how little we knew about pregnancy and the journey to get there. Right down to how it all takes place, I had no idea how much of a miracle the whole process is. But, also for many how devastating it can be.
When I saw Chrissy Teigen share her pregnancy news I was so excited for her and John, as they have had fertility struggles in the past, so to naturally conceive would be a dream.
I have followed their journey because she was at a similar stage in her pregnancy. I felt a kinship. I appreciated that as a high profile celebrity she was willing to share not only the amazing news, but also the hardship.
When Andrew and I started our fertility journey, I initially wanted to do it publicly, and share the same ups and downs with everyone. It felt important to me that we would document that not everyone finds the journey to becoming a parent easy.
However, once we started, it was so much more difficult than either of us had imagined. I couldn't bring myself to experience that pain so openly. So we underwent the journey in silence. It's lonely, scary, and you feel like no one could possibly understand.
That is the reason why Chrissy and John's public journey with their son Jack has touched me, and I'm sure, many people around the world.
There may be people who don't understand their decision to post such intimate photos of such a devastatingly personal experience, but I understand, and I am so grateful for their openness.
You can't explain the sense of loneliness, and the feeling that, as a woman, you have failed. It may not make sense, but the feeling is there. To know others are going through the same thing is so powerful.
Sure, it doesn't fix anything, but knowing that this can happen to anyone, and does, can help start a conversation that is so badly needed to help those who experienced fertility issues, miscarriages, still births, even down to endometriosis and other reproductive issues that so many people suffer through in silence.
Why, I can't pinpoint. Shame? Embarrassment? The fear that people don't want to know, or don't care? Those are some of the feelings I experienced anyway.
My thoughts go out to them in this horrible time, but in the same token, I thank them for their openness and for continuing this important conversation.
This article was first published to nzherald.co.nz and repurposed with permission.
Where to get help:
• For support for bereaved parents visit sands.org.nz
• 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202
• NATIONAL ANXIETY 24 HR HELPLINE: 0800 269 4389