- Publish Date
- Tuesday, 1 September 2020, 7:57AM
Megan has shared the wonderful news that her and husband, Andrew Papas, will be welcoming their first child in 2021.
In an emotional speech live on ZM, Megan discussed her fertility journey and ultimately where she is now, 17 weeks into her pregnancy.
As many women will know, the choice to have children or not is incredibly personal.
“I often say that you should never ask anyone about whether they’re having children, or when, or if they’re having another, but unless you have ever been of the other side of these questions you don’t really understand why it’s a big deal.”
Megan delved into her and Andrews experience with getting pregnant, as well as the emotional roller coaster it took them on.
“We assumed, like many couples do, that we would have no trouble having a baby. We decided we wanted to start trying at the end of 2018. After about 10 months with no luck, we thought we would get checked out to make sure everything was working as it should be.
We went to a fertility clinic, which is very expensive, and is a luxury I know not everyone can afford. We had tests and scans done, and much to our frustration, everything was normal. It would almost have been better if there was an obvious reason why it hadn’t been working.”
Like many women, Megan started to feel failed by her body, and planned to begin IVF (In vitro fertilization).
“After about a year of trying, we decided we would get help. We tried a drug called Clomiphene, which I’m sure many couples are familiar with. It gave me headaches, made me feel sick and I had massive mood swings. We tried four rounds of this drug, to no avail.
At this point, it is so hard to not start blaming your body. I felt like I couldn’t do what I was supposed to as a woman, I was pretty despondent to say the least, and my husband was feeling more and more helpless. We worked through other options and with the advice of our doctor, were told that IVF was the next option.”
Megan and Andrew’s private struggles were only amplified by personal questions and societal pressures.
“Keeping all this in mind, we have been constantly fielding questions from people about ‘when are we planning to have kids?’ ‘When are we going to start a family…?’, even the old ‘tick tock, you’re not getting any younger’. Each time I wanted to either sit down and cry, or scream at the person asking that we were trying.Every month we have been met with disappointment, and at least a couple of those moments when I found out we weren’t pregnant, I was on air. I wanted to hang out in the bathroom, pack it in for the day, but I had to come back and continue an entertaining show like nothing was wrong.”
This disappointment hit especially hard when Megan received the news while Live On Air, and when those around her were having success with conceiving.
“Every month we have been met with disappointment, and at least a couple of those moments when I found out we weren’t pregnant, I was on air. I wanted to hang out in the bathroom, pack it in for the day, but I had to come back and continue an entertaining show like nothing was wrong.
“I’m not saying this because I want sympathy, I would love for people to understand why fertility, and the journey to having a baby is a complicated and painful one for many couples. I was told by at least three of my friends that they were pregnant over this time, and at least a couple of those times I went home and cried, not because I wasn’t happy for them, I just couldn’t understand what was wrong with us, and how unfair it was that we had to pay for a baby.”
Another roadblock in Megan and Andrew’s journey arose as New Zealand’s COVID-19 Lockdown put a stop to their IVF plans.
“IVF was locked and loaded, we did all the necessary paperwork, we learnt how to administer the injections and were set to go. The next day the country went into lockdown, and it was all cancelled. It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under us and again, and we were back at square one. It was disappointing, but we remained positive because we knew we could start at a later date.”
In an absolute turn of events, Megan and Andrew were able to conceive after a long and emotional journey.
“With that being said, I would like to share the news that Andrew and I are 17 weeks pregnant with our first child - an absolute surprise while we were waiting to start IVF.”
Megan acknowledged the importance of being sensitive when it comes to asking about children.
“We promised ourselves that if we were ever lucky enough to get pregnant, we would be genuine and honest about our journey. People struggle. Please be kind, and although your questions are sweet and innocent, it can be hugely painful for those on the receiving end.”
We couldn’t be happier for Megan and Andrew who will undoubtedly make the most amazing parents and beautiful family.