Wednesday, January 25, 2012

People keep asking me what it was like in Hollywood this month...Where do I start?  Whenever someone asks me I get this mind blast of pictures.  Like a manic dream flashing past.  I think I actually stare open mouthed for a moment or two before I say "Effen Crazy baby!!"
 
So what was it like really? Hmmmmmm......Ok well how about I make it a recipe huh?  Like a recipe for a cake!   Right here goes.
 
Pollywood:
 
1 cup of Christmas holiday extra weight
1 cup of over packed suitcases [Because everyone needs to take 5 pairs of boots!?]
1 large scoop of luxury hotel
1 dollop of jet lag
 
8 cups of movie and TV stars
12 Hollywood parties
50 million very skinny gorgeous women
50 million short men
50 million speed dates with stars ;)
18 movie and T.V sets and sound stages
8 miles of red carpet
 
 
A good shake of body insecurity [Or should that be jiggle]
1 Giant microphone
1 super amazing Vegan cafe
1 magazine shoot with a really annoying whining Israeli make-up artist
14 days of food, glamour and very sore feet!!
 
Take all the ingredients and throw them in to a blender with M.A.C make-up, and a GHD and turn on high!!!
 
Keep blending....Keeeeeeep blending!!!
 
 
Hollywood was wild.  My trip was crazy, and funny, and glitzy, and weird ,and cool.  I met the nicest celebrities [Miranda Kerr!] and the weirdest Hollywood hangers-on [Crazy painfully thin Israel make-up artist who kept complaining about the cold and making me promise her I didn't have 'disgusting cold sores']  Hollywood is full of people who are not sure why they are there but were driven not to be somewhere else.  Even the homeless have drifted in on a dream.  It's like you are in a movie as you walk in to a Hollywood party in a room that is so dark, and the music so loud that you are not sure what star you are talking to and then 'voila!' realise it's Ashton Kutcher!!  I walked so much red carpet that the souls of my shoes are red...and not even Loubitan.  I possibly should have packed more cleverly.  I took a lot of shoes and knickers but 1 evening dress.  OOPS!! That was silly huh?  I didn't have time to shop, so even if I could have found something that fitted [guffaw!]  I had no time to even attempt to scout about in the racks of Bloomingdales or Macy's.
 
Oh man Hollywood is a trip.  It's loooooong trip from here, but that's not what I mean right?  It's a trip!  You meet so many people who are on their 2nd, 3rd and 4th marriages.  You meet so many people who look so fed-up by it all, and every now and then you meet a star.  My star was Stephanie.  Stephanie was from Seattle Washington and worked as a waitress in the lobby bar of my hotel   Stephanie was so sweet.  She wore no make-up and had no dreams of being an actress.  Stephanie and I became friends, and she would offer me chocolate covered strawberries she had brought from home as a snack.  Stephanie was the closest thing to a Kiwi I came across.
 
Today another story of another beautiful star rushed to hospital.  Demi Moore has fallen over in to a barrel of some mind numbing substance, as so many do, a victim of the very town that made her famous.  In Hollywood being skinny and staying young and perfect is the greatest success of all.  In Hollywood a lot of what you see is just fake facade.  It's smoke and mirrors and a lot of hair and make-up.  What was my trip like?  It was amazing, and every day I am grateful that I get to experience such incredible things.....but getting on that Air New Zealand plane to come home, was like stepping in to a tank of pure heaven.  I never thought I would say that about a long haul flight.
 
I have other stories,  Oh I have so many other stories.... but what happens in Hollywood stays in Hollywood!!  Well for now! ;)))
 
p.s  You are going to love the new TV series 'Revenge'!!!