Dealing with a f**k boy? Our girl Bel has the best advice for you

Publish Date
Wednesday, 11 April 2018, 11:47AM

Hi, I'm Bel!

I talk and play music on my daytime radio show on ZM in NZ. Sometimes I film stuff. I'm into hippie stuff like nature, crystals and holistic self-care practices, but I like to talk about them in a fun, straight-up, no-shit sort of way that applies to 2018 living. I hope I can empower you to live your best life and give you a little lol.

RELATIONSHIPS 

There are these social pressures (and pressures we put on ourselves) like ok so I'm 28 I should DEFINITELY be in a serious relationship, own a house, have a dog, a family,  be in my dream job, be earning this much $$, and have my life totally sorted by now. 

We just need to chill out a little and stop being so hard on ourselves. We're doing our best. 

One thing, stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone's life is so different. There is no wrong or right time to be doing things. Some people settle down early, some people are only ever with their high school sweetheart, where others may be put through the absolute BS torture of dating 25 fuck boys (honestly did I do something terrible in a past life? I DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT). Stop comparing apples to oranges. 

20, 30 and even 40 somethings get the old "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Well first of all, Susan, I actually owned a house when I was 24 with a long-term boyfriend and I thought that was it, but you know what things change. People change and situations change. And that's ok, it's called life SUSAN, LOOK IT UP! (FFS Susan get off my ass). 

LOVE

I like the idea of being with my 'one' for a long time, doing life together, but I honestly think there are people for us at different times of our lives. I'm a firm believer that people are in your life for a season, reason or lifetime. And we just have to be ok with that. That's just how it is. The less you resist the better cos it's going to happen anyway, it's not like you can control it. Trust that everything will work out for the best. You usually look back and are thankful things happened the way they did anyway. Hindsight is a beautiful thing. 

A post shared by belcrawford 🦋 (@belcrawford) on

DODGING THE FUCK BOYS 

Dating in 2018 is really hard, it is so different to what it was even 5 years ago. Social media and dating apps have made us have so many more 'options'. People don't always want to commit cos well there's these 9 girls Instagram posts they lurk on, slide into a few others DMs along with the sly 'Up to?' messages and pop in and out of your life as they please. Babe, we'll do all the stuff couples do, I don't want you to date anyone else, but let's just not label it aye, I want to keep my options open/ don't know if I want a relationship right now. Righto mate, not like anyone's lining up but whatever makes you feel good about yourself. 

Few things I've learnt on this, if someone makes you an option, let it go and move on. You deserve SO much more than that, you beautiful girl (or guy soz I don't mean this to be gender specific). Stop analysing every message/ conversation and just get on with it. It will 100% get better and someone cooler will turn up, promise. And this is important IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. It does NOT mean you did anything wrong or that you are not good enough. You are SO good enough pretty angel, it's not even funny. 

By keeping these people in your life, even just so they can watch your stories on social media is allowing them in your energy space. This means you are not able to fully move forward and it blocks the goodness, new opportunities and new people from coming into your life. So delete, block, say SEE YA to that devil d. It's just not worth the pain.  Know your worth, stand up for yourself and watch as the magic makes it's way into your life. PROMISE.

I get it, I have had a thing for bad boys, but I realised I DON'T like being treated like shit. We show people how they can treat us, set boundaries and don't put up with absolute BS. I have zero tolerance for it now. No hard feelings and no need for sassy messages, just move on. Your time on this earth and energy is precious, so don't go wasting it on someone who doesn't deserve it and all that you are. 

I saw a really cool quote by @rmdrk on Instagram:

"Sad girl, do not lose hope. Please believe that there are a thousand beautiful things waiting for you. Sunshine comes to all those who feel rain.' 

Keep up with Bel's rambles (blogs) here!