Parents Reveal The Things They’d Never Tell Their Children

1/14

1/14 Sneaking out of the house regularly while my parents slept. Now that I’m a parent, I know why they slept so soundly: kids are exhausting.

2/14

Went through a brief spell of huffing lighter gas from the can. A monumentally stupid thing to do. The mere thought of my own child doing this terrifies me.

2/14 Went through a brief spell of huffing lighter gas from the can. A monumentally stupid thing to do. The mere thought of my own child doing this terrifies me.

3/14

$I got drunk and laid in the middle of the road humping a tree branch while my equally drunk friend rode a pink tricycle around me until the cops showed up. My dad knew the cop so they sent me home with as "lesson learned". They took my friend in because he tried to hump the cop. Later that night I called 911 just to tell them how much they could go fuck themselves for arresting my friend. I got to see my friend again later that night. :\$

3/14 I got drunk and laid in the middle of the road humping a tree branch while my equally drunk friend rode a pink tricycle around me until the cops showed up. My dad knew the cop so they sent me home with as "lesson learned". They took my friend in because he tried to hump the cop. Later that night I called 911 just to tell them how much they could go fuck themselves for arresting my friend. I got to see my friend again later that night. :\

4/14

I used to chug robitussin and trip balls with my friends. Probably did it around twenty times. It was a lot of fun, to be honest. My only excuse is that I went to boarding school in the middle of the wilderness, and there was fuck all to do.

4/14 I used to chug robitussin and trip balls with my friends. Probably did it around twenty times. It was a lot of fun, to be honest. My only excuse is that I went to boarding school in the middle of the wilderness, and there was fuck all to do.

5/14

5/14 Probably the drunk fest I had one night that ended up with me spray painting a pig blue.

6/14

6/14 Made and threw several molotov cocktails... not at anything in particular, just liked to see fireballs.

7/14

7/14 That I failed trigonometry, I'm Asian.

8/14

I had a threesome with 2 popular boys. They ended up telling the entire school that they, "Eiffel Tower'd" me. In class, the kids would play hangman on the board and spell out stuff like, "paris", or "eiffel tower". People would sing Frere Jacques to me in the hallway and clap their hands over their heads. When I got my diploma, a good 50 people from my graduating class stood up and clapped their hands over their heads, it was ridiculous.

8/14 I had a threesome with 2 popular boys. They ended up telling the entire school that they, "Eiffel Tower'd" me. In class, the kids would play hangman on the board and spell out stuff like, "paris", or "eiffel tower". People would sing Frere Jacques to me in the hallway and clap their hands over their heads. When I got my diploma, a good 50 people from my graduating class stood up and clapped their hands over their heads, it was ridiculous.

9/14

My mom straight up admitted to me that she dated two guys at the same time and both were okay with it. The fact they were brothers was even more weird...

9/14 My mom straight up admitted to me that she dated two guys at the same time and both were okay with it. The fact they were brothers was even more weird...

10/14

10/14 I tied a guy to a chair and pleasured him in various ways for an hour. Yeah, I think that'd be TMI for my kids. Yes, it was consensual.

11/14

That I stole my dad’s car, drove it on a joyride through town with my best friends, then crashed it out of the garage trying to reverse the miles I had put on it.

11/14 That I stole my dad’s car, drove it on a joyride through town with my best friends, then crashed it out of the garage trying to reverse the miles I had put on it.

12/14

12/14 Meth. I’m still ashamed to admit it to people and I’m going on 6 years clean from it.

13/14

I met my daughter’s father online at 14, moved 1000 miles away from my parents and in with him in 11th grade. Got myself emancipated and finished high school. She will know NONE of this for a very long time.

13/14 I met my daughter’s father online at 14, moved 1000 miles away from my parents and in with him in 11th grade. Got myself emancipated and finished high school. She will know NONE of this for a very long time.

14/14

14/14 Bleached the tips of my hair.